Do cats choose their owners?

Author: Peter Berry
Date Of Creation: 15 February 2021
Update Date: 15 May 2024
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You may have heard that cats choose us, not the other way around. Perhaps you think this is not true, as you are certainly the one who chose to receive your cat in your home. However, we must tell you that this popular saying is not entirely wrong. Cats are intelligent, independent animals, so don't think they'll feel obligated to live with you if they're not comfortable with it.

If you are still wondering if cats choose their owners, we recommend that you read this PeritoAnimal article in which we tell you how these animals choose where and how they want to live.

How is the relationship between a cat and a person?

It is very important to understand this point, as cats have no owner. In other words, the meaning of owner implies owning something and cats are, obviously, living beings with whom we live, who do not perceive themselves as "belonging to someone". Therefore, they have absolutely no obligation to stay with us. However, these are social animals that need to be accompanied to feel comfortable and safe. For this reason, these animals choose companions to live with. Cats choose a tutor, a guide, a person or several as references to follow, not as teachers. From our point of view, it is possible to call ourselves owners, because hosting a cat implies a legal responsibility, but it is logically contradictory to call an animal an object, since it is a subject with its own personality and motivations.


Having made this clear, it is important to understand that a feline that is not comfortable at home or with its family members will go out to find a more favorable environment for him. That's understandable, don't we also choose who to relate to? When we don't have a fulfilling relationship with someone, we simply avoid contacting that person (as far as possible).

How cats choose their mates

At this point, you're probably wondering what you're doing right with your feline companion, to be lucky he wants to be with you. The explanation is that this is because, thanks to you, your cat's well-being is being met, so he doesn't have to leave as he feels comfortable.

Before everything, you are the one who meets your physiological needs, such as a proper diet. Otherwise, it wouldn't be strange for him to live at the neighbor's house, if there was no food in the house and the neighbor was feeding him. Therefore, it depends on you when it comes to feeding, especially if you do not know how to hunt, something quite common with domestic cats that had no difficulties and therefore did not need to "make a living".


So thanks to you, he has a suitable environment, which he considers his territory. He sits in a safe space, isolated from outside threats, also has a clean place to relieve himself (usually his sandbox), a place to rest, etc.

Also, normally your social needs are also being met. and, although generally independent, cats enjoy spending time in company, with other cats, or with us. For this reason, the different members of the family are part of his group, and this creates a feeling of belonging and security, as he feels protected. It is important to emphasize that, in the case of welcoming a new family member (another cat, a dog, a child...), it is common for this change to generate stress in the cat, as it is someone outside of your family and, therefore, at first he may perceive them as hostile if we don't present them progressively and adequately.


The above factors are often the most decisive when it comes to how cats choose their "owners". "Owners" in quotes because, remember, the right thing to say is companions. Now, you may have noticed that your cat prefers to spend more time with certain people. This is because cats prefer people who know how to interact with them. Let's see what characterizes them:

  • They know how to relate to him, respecting his limits. Cats tend to get close to people who don't "suffocate them too much." Generally, these people know when the cat is asking them to stop (from petting, for example), something vital so that he can respect and trust you.
  • Associate your presence with something positive. The cat notices which family members bring them the most positive things. For example, if they spend time playing with him (when the cat wants to play) or if he is the person who feeds him.
  • avoid punishment. We can often lose patience when we try to live in harmony with a pet. Now you must never scold an animal, since for him, physical aggression or a scream will be completely unjustified and will generate fear. Cats are particularly sensitive to these situations and will become aloof when going through these bad experiences (in addition to causing them stress and discomfort). For this reason, we always recommend techniques that are more beneficial to the relationship, such as positive reinforcement or reconditioning behaviors that you find inappropriate, such as scratching the furniture in the house.

How many owners does a cat have?

None. As we said earlier, cats don't have owners or masters, they have companions with whom they share their lives. That said, we rephrased the question to: how many guides or how many "favorite" people does a cat have? Understanding "favorites" as people who are part of your closest social core. In this case, cats may have more than one favorite or reference person, so they don't need to follow or show their affection for a single person. As we said, the important thing is the bond established with the cat, the way you relate and live with him. If the cat feels safe, protected and at ease, it can have more than one companion.

However, if you've noticed that your cat likes one person more than another, don't hesitate to check out this other article: Why do cats like some people?

What can you do to make your cat like you?

If you live with a cat and you have noticed that it is running away from you, it is possible that it prefers to live in your house because its physiological needs are covered (food, water...), but do not feel comfortable when you interact with it. First of all, don't be shaken, we all need to learn! And think that each feline has its own quirks and ways of interacting with humans. For this reason, wanting to understand your cat is a good start for him to start liking you.

Cats can often be skittish with us because we are too affectionate: we want to pet them when they prefer to be alone, we want to play with them when they are calm... It is very important to understand the cat's body language to know when they are setting their limits so that you can respect them. Otherwise, the cat may be suspicious of you and may even get angry and hurt you if you smother him too much.

You should also keep in mind that each individual is unique and so you may know a very calm and affectionate cat, but yours is quite active and independent, so you don't need as many displays of affection. Finding the most appropriate way to interact with your cat will help her to become attached to you more easily. Perhaps he is a very playful feline and enjoys playing with you, or on the other hand he may be a very calm cat who doesn't want or want to see the toys you present him.

Also, try not to always be the first to initiate interactions. Prefer the times when your cat approaches you, since at these times he wants to spend time with you. You can also reward him with a gift, such as snacks or malt, so he'll see you as someone really rewarding.

Finally, if you live with more people at home and find that your cat is more comfortable with someone else, try to observe how that person relates to him and ask him for some advice. Surely, this way you can learn even more about your cat!

In short, knowing what your partner likes and when to approach them will be critical to creating an emotional bond with them. If you want to know more about how to improve your relationship with your cat, we invite you to read 5 tips to gain a cat's trust or check out the following video: